No one has the stamina to be fun, cool and entertaining every day and I am human and stupid, just like everyone else. So, the best I can offer is a small foray into my mind and why I think some of the things I think. It won't be pretty, but not every day is.
There were times when I was in an environment where the song played and I could not run away like a crazy person. For example, I have been in a bar with people I did not know all that well and the live musician started playing it. You can't turn those people off and it's usually considered bad form to either leap at them or throw your drink in their face and turning and running out of the bar would require an explanation I wasn't prepared to provide. So, I have to just stand there, knowing the storm would come in the days following. The storm always comes.
On Tuesday, I heard the song play where I was and I did run outside. I swear it, Miss Dashy can attest to it, I actually stopped midsentence turned and walked outside, with no other explanation than, "I have to leave right now." I returned several minutes later when I was confident it was over. I only heard a small portion of it... but I knew something bad was coming. On Wednesday, I heard it again, except this time, I heard it while the catastrophic event was occurring and I could not move, not leave, not do anything but sit there and listen to it in its entirety. As torturous as the whole experience was, that was one of the worst parts. I did find it a little funny, in a sick way, but mostly torturous.
Now, you may be wondering, do I really think that song has the power to cause anything to happen? After all, it's just a song. The answer is no. No, I don't. I have a lot going on in my brain, but I do not ACTUALLY believe in Santa Clause, and I do not literally think that song is the problem.
The reason I attribute that song to cataclysmic events is because I want there to be a reason and a meaning and an explanation for them. It is the same reason why there are myths and "just so" stories and fables. The ancients derived meaning from mythology for things which might otherwise be inexplicable and incomprehensible in their world. They needed to explain why ships were lost at sea and lovers never returned and famine plagued the land. Why do bad things happen to "good" people? Why do bad things happen at all? Well, one explanation might be to say it was the wrath of angry gods and one might be to say that it was Credence Clearwater Revival. Avoiding that song gives me back a little bit of perceived control over things which I cannot otherwise control. I am not saying I don't have a hand in the events which unfold, because often I certainly do. I am just saying when I don't and life runs me right into a brick wall, the presence of "Bad Moon Rising" helps me have a very Greeklike, "Ahhh... well that must be why" moment, as opposed to an existential, "Why is this world so cold and meaningless?" moment. It is a deflection technique.
I won't list the events which occurred and I won't tell you what happened this week to derail both me and the posts. This blog both is and is not about my personal life. I am fully prepared to be forthright and introspective and self-deprecating, but there are some things not everyone needs to know. I protect the innocent to the degree I can. There is always an undercurrent of current events which are not for show and tell (I am sure you are curious about them though, considering what I DO share)... Sorry Charlie, no dice.
I will say, it's an awfully strange coincidence how frequently CCR and "Bad Moon Rising" are part of the course of unfortunate events. However, there is this thing called "The Law of Attraction" and basically what it is (in the most simplistic form possible) is that you get back the energy you put out and what intention you send out is what you will receive. It's sort of karmic in that way. So, feel self-destructive and create and aura of self-destruction and what will you get? You will get destruction. Attribute bad things with "Bad Moon Rising" and maybe when bad things happen, you will get "Bad Moon Rising".
I would like to be able to say I will let my anxiety and obsessive connection with the song go now and never care about it again, but I don't know if I can cash that check.
I promise I will pull myself up by the bootstraps and try to get cha the good stuff you came to know and love for next week and if I can, I will post the good first dates post tomorrow, as a thank you for your patience with me.
Happy Friday, dear readers, be good out there... and try to avoid CCR.