You may notice that the unthinkable happened yesterday... for the first time in almost two months, I didn't post anything. Writing this is usually one of the most enjoyable parts of my day and I will admit that when people don't "like" the posts or the traffic is low, sometimes, I take it personally. I will also admit that in a few weeks, I am moving and that I still have to pack my entire house. I also have this little thing called finalizing a divorce to deal with, among other issues and a full time job, which currently demands a lot of time and focus as well.
So, what am I getting at? I admit I am a little competitive by nature and I really want to give the topics and the posts on here my all. I don't want to "phone them in" so to speak, because it takes the fun out of it for me and you will become quickly dissatisfied with the topics and writing if I am whipping them off hurridly. I can easily tell which posts I devoted a lot of time and effort to and which were not planned, organized or well-thought-out. I also need some time to do some web designing, because I have ideas for where to go with that, but I have to teach it all to myself. The bottom line is that during the next several weeks, you are going to have to give me a break. No... I am going to have to give myself a break and allow myself some days off. I have some great stuff (well, I think it's great) I am working on, so I would like to give those articles real focus and provide you with quality as opposed to quantity. If I had more time to work on the important posts and get them up when they are fully polished and edited, I think they would be better.
I believe I can still get several up a week and let's be honest, you don't read every single one, every single day. Hell, maybe if there were only two or three a week, you would actually watch the videos! I'm not even certain you NOTICED that I didn't post anything yesterday until I outed myself, but honesty is the best policy and the idea of this site is dedication to sharing our collective experiences, thoughts and ideas (although sometimes it's like pulling crocodile teeth to get stories out of you), so I may as well fess up. I will probably still throw you some sound bites here and there on days "off"... just to see if you're paying attention.
I initially believed I would have at least a few people who contributed on a weekly basis and I that I would only need to edit and write two or three posts a week myself... but that turned out to be not quite as accurate as I thought. It's cool, you will just have to read more shit from my head more often. Lucky you.
So, there will be slightly fewer posts, but they will be better. I would say that "for all intents and purposes" this will be the same blog and you won't even notice the difference or reduction in posting, but I HATE the idiom "for all intents and purposes". I hate it because the phrase, like many a legal phrase before and since, is rather obtuse and actually evidences a meaning which is sort of shitty. What is meant when a thing is said to be true "for all intents and purposes" is "it isn't actually true but it it so close to being so that we may proceed as though it is".
It's like calling something a "true enough lie". Bleh.
Things which are true "for all intents and purposes" are really a series of minor disappointments; which I hope I am not to you by asking for a respite in the volume of posts required. So, instead of saying that this blog will remain the same "for all intents and purposes", I will instead tell you that "we're all in tents with porpoises" and therefore, even though I need more time for things, the posts will be better when I post them. I think "we're all in tents with porpoises" sounds nicer, right? Anything is probably better in a tent with a porpoise. Have you ever been near a porpoise? I really haven't either, but I imagine they make everything more enjoyable. Don't think about like, Sea World, sad-ass porpoises with scars on their fins having to perform for hideous Bible Belt Mid-westerners drinking 46 oz. DIET cokes while stuffing their faces with "nachos" and "hot dogs" made out of Brahma-knows-what. Think of an enormous tent that covers part of a beautiful lagoon where the porpoises can come and go at their leisure, only they don't leave, because they would prefer to hang out in the tent with you. Think of them like fucking Sega Dreamcast Eco the Dolphin porpoises with really absurdly blue water and shit... except Eco is a porpoise, not a dolphin in this scenario (there's a difference) and we're in a tent. You're still with me, right? Okay good.
Thus, since we are all in tents with porpoises, here is a list of the topics I am currently working on followed by a brief poll to see what YOU would like to discuss. These will be out sometime this week and next, maybe even sometimes on Saturdays and Sundays. Thank you for your readership, your understanding, your stories, your support, your laughter and for making me have fun with this. Keep coming back, it only gets better from here.
So, what am I getting at? I admit I am a little competitive by nature and I really want to give the topics and the posts on here my all. I don't want to "phone them in" so to speak, because it takes the fun out of it for me and you will become quickly dissatisfied with the topics and writing if I am whipping them off hurridly. I can easily tell which posts I devoted a lot of time and effort to and which were not planned, organized or well-thought-out. I also need some time to do some web designing, because I have ideas for where to go with that, but I have to teach it all to myself. The bottom line is that during the next several weeks, you are going to have to give me a break. No... I am going to have to give myself a break and allow myself some days off. I have some great stuff (well, I think it's great) I am working on, so I would like to give those articles real focus and provide you with quality as opposed to quantity. If I had more time to work on the important posts and get them up when they are fully polished and edited, I think they would be better.
I believe I can still get several up a week and let's be honest, you don't read every single one, every single day. Hell, maybe if there were only two or three a week, you would actually watch the videos! I'm not even certain you NOTICED that I didn't post anything yesterday until I outed myself, but honesty is the best policy and the idea of this site is dedication to sharing our collective experiences, thoughts and ideas (although sometimes it's like pulling crocodile teeth to get stories out of you), so I may as well fess up. I will probably still throw you some sound bites here and there on days "off"... just to see if you're paying attention.
I initially believed I would have at least a few people who contributed on a weekly basis and I that I would only need to edit and write two or three posts a week myself... but that turned out to be not quite as accurate as I thought. It's cool, you will just have to read more shit from my head more often. Lucky you.
So, there will be slightly fewer posts, but they will be better. I would say that "for all intents and purposes" this will be the same blog and you won't even notice the difference or reduction in posting, but I HATE the idiom "for all intents and purposes". I hate it because the phrase, like many a legal phrase before and since, is rather obtuse and actually evidences a meaning which is sort of shitty. What is meant when a thing is said to be true "for all intents and purposes" is "it isn't actually true but it it so close to being so that we may proceed as though it is".
It's like calling something a "true enough lie". Bleh.
Things which are true "for all intents and purposes" are really a series of minor disappointments; which I hope I am not to you by asking for a respite in the volume of posts required. So, instead of saying that this blog will remain the same "for all intents and purposes", I will instead tell you that "we're all in tents with porpoises" and therefore, even though I need more time for things, the posts will be better when I post them. I think "we're all in tents with porpoises" sounds nicer, right? Anything is probably better in a tent with a porpoise. Have you ever been near a porpoise? I really haven't either, but I imagine they make everything more enjoyable. Don't think about like, Sea World, sad-ass porpoises with scars on their fins having to perform for hideous Bible Belt Mid-westerners drinking 46 oz. DIET cokes while stuffing their faces with "nachos" and "hot dogs" made out of Brahma-knows-what. Think of an enormous tent that covers part of a beautiful lagoon where the porpoises can come and go at their leisure, only they don't leave, because they would prefer to hang out in the tent with you. Think of them like fucking Sega Dreamcast Eco the Dolphin porpoises with really absurdly blue water and shit... except Eco is a porpoise, not a dolphin in this scenario (there's a difference) and we're in a tent. You're still with me, right? Okay good.
Thus, since we are all in tents with porpoises, here is a list of the topics I am currently working on followed by a brief poll to see what YOU would like to discuss. These will be out sometime this week and next, maybe even sometimes on Saturdays and Sundays. Thank you for your readership, your understanding, your stories, your support, your laughter and for making me have fun with this. Keep coming back, it only gets better from here.
1. Why do women only want to date assholes?
If I could actually make MONEY every time a man approached me about this topic, I would not have a day job anymore. I would just write about this. You won't let up. So, I am going to really, really, really delve into this and try to explain what is going on and what you are likely doing wrong or why these women are not the right women for you.
2. The idea that "nice" guys finish last and what it means to be a "nice" guy:
As you can see, there is a theme here and I have some very interesting thoughts. I am sort of creating a mini-series about the delicate Tango between men and women which creates the perception by men that women only want assholes and the perception by women that men are only after the chase and they must play hard to get or get thrown out like yesterdays porn magazines.
3. Games we play:
This is again part of the same series and it will wrap things up by discussing every disgusting game I am aware of, the psychology behind them (to the degree I understand), how it all ties together and what we could maybe all do to stop.
4. Damaged Goods:
I received some questions from people which sort of upset me. Some people asked me things like, "If I have dated/had sex with/broken up with/murdered too many people, am I damaged goods?" Meaning, can you render yourself undateable with your past? I think we're ALL damaged to some degree, I mean shit, it wouldn't be life if we weren't, but I want to explore what makes people feel that way, why destructive behavior occurs and what we can do to lift ourselves out of it... Someone married Helen Keller and she was fucking... well you know the rest. You are not undateable. I might be, but you aren't.
5. Can men and women EVER really be friends?
Is it true that one person always wants to fuck the other? Can you ever just be friends with a dude with nothing else in the way? Are there actually women out there who men wouldn't want to sleep with? What has to happen before you can just be friends? Can you trust a guy who has a lot of friends who are chicks? What makes them trusworthy or untrustworthy? What's the deal with women who don't have any girlfriends, but a lot of guy friends and who claim, "I just can't get along with women"? So on and so forth...
6. Towing the Line...
What to do if you are in a relationship and you don't know if it's going anywhere. Will he ever ask you to marry him? Do you care? What are the warning signs he won't? Also, things which will likely make him run screaming in the opposite direction as if you were a syphilitic racoon.
7. FIRST DATES:
This one turned out to be so special, I wanted to make it really, really cool. It is coming... I just don't know when. So, many people said so many really cool things and I didn't have the heart to just throw it together. I am actually beaming as I write this, because I am so totally excited to put this one all the way together. What is your idea of an ideal first date? What is the WORST kind of first date? What are your great stories and your horror stories of first dates? I have an awesomely embarrassing one about myself... which involves the really hot but really dumb dude from Not-Tub Time Machine.
8. Is it a sign?:
I have a really cool thing about horoscopes, ghosts, psychics, creepy shit and why I am a nut bag... like trail mix level.
9. How to tell if you are a douche bag?
I have a douche bag in mind. This will help you avoid becoming him.
Okay! So, that's it! That's what you get today, that's what I've been working on and I feel like a big weight is lifted off my chest. I will try to work on more stuff, but please, give Saraswati a little breathing room or she isn't going to be able to breathe at all. Oh, and take the poll below, because I just figured out how to create them. For the rest of the week? If you get upset? If you have a bad day? A shitty interaction? Don't forget - we're all in tents with porpoises.
xoxo,
Saraswati
If I could actually make MONEY every time a man approached me about this topic, I would not have a day job anymore. I would just write about this. You won't let up. So, I am going to really, really, really delve into this and try to explain what is going on and what you are likely doing wrong or why these women are not the right women for you.
2. The idea that "nice" guys finish last and what it means to be a "nice" guy:
As you can see, there is a theme here and I have some very interesting thoughts. I am sort of creating a mini-series about the delicate Tango between men and women which creates the perception by men that women only want assholes and the perception by women that men are only after the chase and they must play hard to get or get thrown out like yesterdays porn magazines.
3. Games we play:
This is again part of the same series and it will wrap things up by discussing every disgusting game I am aware of, the psychology behind them (to the degree I understand), how it all ties together and what we could maybe all do to stop.
4. Damaged Goods:
I received some questions from people which sort of upset me. Some people asked me things like, "If I have dated/had sex with/broken up with/murdered too many people, am I damaged goods?" Meaning, can you render yourself undateable with your past? I think we're ALL damaged to some degree, I mean shit, it wouldn't be life if we weren't, but I want to explore what makes people feel that way, why destructive behavior occurs and what we can do to lift ourselves out of it... Someone married Helen Keller and she was fucking... well you know the rest. You are not undateable. I might be, but you aren't.
5. Can men and women EVER really be friends?
Is it true that one person always wants to fuck the other? Can you ever just be friends with a dude with nothing else in the way? Are there actually women out there who men wouldn't want to sleep with? What has to happen before you can just be friends? Can you trust a guy who has a lot of friends who are chicks? What makes them trusworthy or untrustworthy? What's the deal with women who don't have any girlfriends, but a lot of guy friends and who claim, "I just can't get along with women"? So on and so forth...
6. Towing the Line...
What to do if you are in a relationship and you don't know if it's going anywhere. Will he ever ask you to marry him? Do you care? What are the warning signs he won't? Also, things which will likely make him run screaming in the opposite direction as if you were a syphilitic racoon.
7. FIRST DATES:
This one turned out to be so special, I wanted to make it really, really cool. It is coming... I just don't know when. So, many people said so many really cool things and I didn't have the heart to just throw it together. I am actually beaming as I write this, because I am so totally excited to put this one all the way together. What is your idea of an ideal first date? What is the WORST kind of first date? What are your great stories and your horror stories of first dates? I have an awesomely embarrassing one about myself... which involves the really hot but really dumb dude from Not-Tub Time Machine.
8. Is it a sign?:
I have a really cool thing about horoscopes, ghosts, psychics, creepy shit and why I am a nut bag... like trail mix level.
9. How to tell if you are a douche bag?
I have a douche bag in mind. This will help you avoid becoming him.
Okay! So, that's it! That's what you get today, that's what I've been working on and I feel like a big weight is lifted off my chest. I will try to work on more stuff, but please, give Saraswati a little breathing room or she isn't going to be able to breathe at all. Oh, and take the poll below, because I just figured out how to create them. For the rest of the week? If you get upset? If you have a bad day? A shitty interaction? Don't forget - we're all in tents with porpoises.
xoxo,
Saraswati
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